i find myself not up to the honor accorded me
As a Chinese idiom, Pinyin is d ā ngzh ī y ǒ UKU ì, which means to bear a certain honor or title is not consistent with the facts and feel ashamed.
Idiom explanation
When: bear; shame: shame.
Idiom usage
Subject predicate; predicate; derogatory. example I only did a little good for you, but I was highly praised by my comrades. I really deserve it!
i find myself not up to the honor accorded me
a fast job done by a straightforward person - kuài rén kuài shì
Words are not words, deeds are not far - yán zhī bù wén,xíng zhī bù yuǎn